S4E21 - It's good to get a no

On this episode, we talk to Sara Becht. 

Sara is a young professional balancing a full-time career, her college coursework, and a commitment to continuous self-improvement. She’s passionate about wellness and mindset, and she’s focused on building a life rooted in discipline, growth, and authenticity. 

As she navigates her 20s, Sara is intentional about becoming the best version of herself. She believes that leaning into the difficult seasons in her life has been a defining factor in her success. 

Sara and I discuss taking risks, staying focused on your journey, and why getting a no is good too. 

We hope you enjoy this episode. 

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

SPEAKER_01 0:00

When my parents told me they were getting divorced and everyone had a decision on their college already, I kind of was scrambling and I was like mentally just not in a great place. And I told myself, you know what? I'm gonna help my parents through this divorce. I'm gonna stay home for a year. I'm gonna work, do community college, keep 4.0, and hopefully transfer to the University of Texas. And that's the one school I would have done anything for.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Welcome to Points of Failure. I'm Steve Coffran. On Points of Failure, we have conversations about the quiet ways things break down and what it actually means to take responsibility without self-destruction. Through conversations with others and topical episodes, we examine the patterns behind the failure in work, relationships, identity, and decision making without shortcuts, performative certainty, or easy answers. Whether you're reflecting on past mistakes, wrestling with something unresolved, or noticing a pattern you can't ignore, each episode is an invitation to look honestly at what went wrong and what comes next. On this episode, we talk to Sarah Becht. Sarah is a young professional balancing a full-time career with her college coursework and a commitment to continuous self-improvement. She's passionate about wellness and mindset, and she's focused on building a life rooted in discipline, growth, and authenticity. As she navigates her 20s, Sarah is intentional about becoming the best version of herself. She believes that leaning into the difficult seasons in her life has been a defining factor in her success. Sarah and I discussed taking risks, staying focused on your journey, and why getting to know is good too. We hope you enjoy this episode. We are here today with uh Sarah Becht, and uh she has a story that she'd like to share with us, and so I'm just gonna let you, Sarah, kind of introduce yourself to everybody and uh just give us a brief background, a little history, and we'll go from there.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

Well, totally. Well, thank you for having me. Um so yes, I'm Sarah Becht. I'm 20 years old, and I moved to Bentonville probably about end of September of last year. And it's been uh a ride and journey here in Bentonville, but I think I'm I'm glad I took the opportunity and I've gotten to meet so many great people and creatives. And so yeah, it's uh been an adventure. I think that a risk that I wanted to take, and I'm so glad it turned out the way it was supposed to be. But yeah, so grew up in Japan and came to Texas and maybe get into that later. But yeah, I ended up moving to Bentonville and I honestly love it so far.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

So very good. Good. So you um you mentioned uh when we talked before about kind of wanting to discuss like your challenges and your risks, and I think that that I feel like that's a that's apropos for the podcast because uh you know the the basis of the podcast is definitely um challenges, it's it's failures, those kinds of things. So I like that that focus in in really just jumping and taking that risk. So um kind of uh take take take us back to you know Japan, what brought you from? Obviously, I'm sure your parents brought you from Japan, but I mean what was uh what were the the the things that led you to where you are right now?

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Yeah, so my mom was born and raised in Japan, and my dad was military, so he was stationed over there and met my mom. Grew up there for about eight years, and I honestly thought the rest of my life was gonna be spent in Japan. I think I just love the culture I grew up with my grandparents, and I never saw a forechange um in the future. And so my dad ended up getting stationed in Texas. So we moved our lives to Texas, and I was around eight years old, and I knew nothing about American culture, I knew nothing about the sports here. I mean, I only done like things like swimming and piano when I was in Japan, and I ended up picking up an interest for gymnastics or tumbling, really. And that's I guess where a lot of my athleticism and kind of creative ventures on my own, because my family was never really into the sports like that. And so when I came, I faced a lot of realizing that things were different for me, maybe the way that I looked or maybe the way that I talked. And it was never a bad thing. I think people took it as an interesting thing to look at, especially when you're young, you never really have a clue of like people's backgrounds. Um, but I ended up completely indulging myself in the American culture. I love the school system and the things that I learned in there. Um, but I don't think that I really started facing challenges until I was maybe around like 10 or 11 or 12. Um, we ended up moving another place in Texas, and I faced this intermediate middle school area. And I grew up, and my mom was such a lovely lady, she's such a hard worker, and I seriously do admire her for that. But she has a very strong traditional values and Japanese values, and obviously it's to work hard, not rely on your parents, and kind of create your own footsteps for yourself. And I didn't really start seeing that until maybe around 15, 16. Um, I got my first job when I was 15, and I was so upset because none of my friends had a job at the time, and for me, it just seemed unfair. And my parents would drive me an hour away to Louisville to go serve at this restaurant, this Japanese restaurant. So I got into that, and that's kind of where I started going into the industry and learning about customer service. Um, but I was also doing cheerleading at the time. So I was at a small gym for about three years, and they ended up telling me I just worked really hard, and I realized like your hard work will be entitled with your rewards. So my mother always used to say, like, if you don't do the dishes or if you don't do a chore, I'm not gonna bring you to this open gym or practice that you're wanting to go to. So that's kind of where I started finding discipline myself and just like really just reeling down. And yes, I will have to be obedient to my parents, but I also want to follow my dream. So finding that balance for me, like that was the start of it all. Um, so yeah, I got into cheerleading and I just finished my last season in 2023. Such a rigorous process, and I I it it shaped me to who I am today, but I definitely think the challenges that I faced there were never easy. Um, I felt very alone in my endeavors. I think when I especially went through high school when I was working and I just had gotten my car, I was like the only person in my friend group paying for my gas and my clothes and things that I wanted. So I ended up becoming on a world famous cheer team called Cheetahs at one of the most prestigious gyms in the world. And it was like a dream come true to me. I think whenever I was younger and I came from Japan, I never even knew the world of cheerleading. But yeah, that's kind of where a lot of my challenges began when I was around 15, 16, just kind of being individual and I guess naturally comparing myself to my peers.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

Sure. I can imagine. So what I'm having grown up in um America um for myself, I, you know, I don't I don't know the cultural challenges, you know. So what was what do you think was the biggest um the biggest difference? Like what what you know, growing up in Japan and coming to America, especially Texas, you know, I mean I was like, wow, it's a whole microcosm of America as it is. What was the the probably the hardest thing do you think that you challenged there or face challenge you faced?

SPEAKER_01 6:36

I would think it began like even small things like bringing my bento box or my lunch like from home to my American school and like people kind of judging it, whether that was like rice, sushi, fish, and things like that. Like I was almost embarrassed to bring it. And sometimes I would eat it before lunch so that I didn't have to show it to everybody during lunch because they would just question it. They'd never seen anything like it. And then also bringing people over to my house, like the traditional values of taking your shoes off and being polite and you know, saying hello to the parents. Like it was almost like I was in fear of bringing my friends over because of whether that was self-embarrassment or also just like I didn't want my family to judge my friends for because they didn't know any better. Um, but those like little things like that, whether that was like things in my house, tradition-wise, or even just down to like things like food. But um, yeah, I would say that when I was younger, I used to be kind of embarrassed by it. And I think also being so young and coming to America and you see everyone with a different type of family structure and religious structure. I mean, I had no idea what being a Christian was or being a Catholic was. And I that was a really confusing point for my life, but I think it allowed me to become more knowledgeable of others. Um, but it just kind of felt like I was alone in this in this self-journey of transitioning from one culture to another.

SPEAKER_00 7:43

That's that's interesting because the the whole bento box thing is so popular at like a lot of Japanese restaurants.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

I'm like, my bento box was stained on.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

That's funny. That's crazy. And how it's it's funny to me that that young kids, you know, can uh identify those differences so quickly and then home in on them. You know, it's like it's just a lunchbox, bro. Yeah, you got sandwiches, I got sushi, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

And I'll pull out a chalk seek soda. Yeah, I know, totally.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

Yeah, it's that that's funny. So so you you're in Texas and you're um jumping ahead to of course I I also find it kind of funny that your first job was at a Japanese restaurant. I feel like it's very like just racial profiling from your family.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

No, totally. But that's where like my mom had a connection with the restaurant owner, and so I mean she was willing to drag me and I was willing to get money, so we worked in advance.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

There you go. That plays out. Uh so go into your um the the cheerleading. Um, you said it was very prestigious and everything. So what sort of challenge I mean, what uh what obviously it's not easy, not anybody can just walk in and be on that cheerleading team, I assume. So um, what sort of like rigors did you have to face with that?

SPEAKER_01 8:51

So I think when I'm going from a small gym to a big gym like that, no one in my hometown had kind of gone and spread out and ventured into those big gyms. Um for me, it was like countless weeks and weekends by myself in an open gym by myself, just really trying to get more skills, trying to be more self-disciplined. But when I got to this big gym, it was like I felt like the top dog at the small gym, and I get to this big gym and I'm back at square one. Um, so I didn't feel really qualified within my skill set to even make a team over there. And I ended up taking some tumbling classes, and I had a coach come up to me and say, like, I would really love for you to just try out, just try and see where you land, and we'll see where this goes. And actually, my last season, my last competition at the small gym, I ended up taking a picture with a uh in a famous team called Wildcats. And that was the top of the top team at this gym. And I'd always seen them around when I was at the gym doing tumbling classes, but I mean, I was just kind of like, I can't imagine being at that type of level and just really like relishing in that and seeing them travel the world and do world championships. And so my challenges were really whenever you grow up, naturally, your body, like especially in sports, it's having to adjust and you don't end up performing the same, especially with like womanly changes. And so for me, it was like I had these growth spurts that kind of halted my progress and my tumbling, and I just felt like I was like, where was my momentum like when I was younger? And so I kept trying to do tumbling practices, and then I ended up making a youth team called Jags, and I was I I cried, I remember crying on the phone call because I was so excited, and I made like the biggest gym in the world that I'd seen, but I never ended up believing that I could get to the top of the show. So after the first year of being on Jags, I tried out again and I ended up making Cheetos. Um, and this was the team that I landed on for my second year. So I ended up winning. Um, some of you guys may know the Netflix series cheer. Um, there's two collegiate teams on it, which is Navarro and TBCC, and a lot of them were made up of my teammates. And so seeing that process between collegiate cheer and competitive, it's it was very different. I mean, I was in middle school and high school, and they were college cheerleaders. Um, but I was on that team uh for three years, and actually on my third year, I was going through a lot, I think back at home, and also within just my own mental, I felt very alone and I was just so overworked. So my telling skill set didn't end up coming up to par. And I ended up remembering one practice, my coach told me that I was gonna be switching in and out with another girl, and I was devastated. Like the one dream team that I could have ever imagined, I just got basically booted off. And I remember like beating myself for weeks and never looked forward to going to practices. And my mind you, my gym was an hour away. And my mom, by the time I was 16, she was like, You're driving yourself. So it's like an hour there, hour back. I wouldn't get back till like 11 or midnight. Um, so I just kind of felt like it was useless. Like all this, out all this work, I wasn't good enough. So, Wildcats, there's two coaches and they're owners of the gym, but they ended up coming up to me in one practice. They saw me sitting on the side and they were like, Hey Sarah, I really want you to try to come to a wildcat practice this Saturday. Just kind of see how it is. You'll tumble. There's a girl that ended up getting hurt. We'd love to see you come. And that's when my whole career, my whole tier career, did another 360. And I ended up becoming um a wildcat that season on that practice, actually. And I ended up winning another world championship with them and got an opportunity to go to America's not talent. So I weirdly, through all the hardship and just like beating myself up with me not, quote, being good enough, I ended up flourishing as a completely different athlete on a different team.

SPEAKER_00 12:09

Yeah. So that's that's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

Yeah. It was I definitely a trust the process type thing.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

Yeah, yeah. You mentioned you mentioned that a lot with, you know, sort of being on a path and trusting that path. Um, so you changed teams mid-season, you said, right? Yeah. So uh what did you have anything else kind of going on? I mean, because you know, you got obviously everybody really has life challenges and what's happening. Were you where you struggle? I mean, mid-season, you're still in high school at this point. Yeah. So um was school suffering, friendship suffering, family issues, anything like that?

SPEAKER_01 12:41

Um, no, I would say within school, I I always had like a good friend group in school and had a an enjoyable time. I think definitely back at home, it was it was pretty tough. I think my parents just were kind of going through a rough season, and my brother was kind of wanting to be independent on his own. So it was kind of like again back on my own journey. And I think between working, being a student, and also being an athlete, I never really had much time to sit for myself or kind of do the other things that maybe 16, 17-year-olds would go do. So in certain moments, like I felt very left out or excluded from the norm the normal of the groups, and it was kind of hard seeing what I felt like I was putting in 300% of work and getting such little reward to seeing my friends or peers maybe put in 50% of work and get 300% of the reward, you know. And I think it's hard to not compare yourself to those people, especially whenever you're younger. And I was, I think it was also my ignorance to maybe not understanding everyone has their own story and in their own struggle. But I in that moment I I definitely felt so alone. And I think I became hyper-aware of a lot of myself in my life, probably when I was around 13. So I think at that time it was kind of like when when did what does it end? No matter how hard I work, it felt like I was getting such little reward, but go home to kind of like an empty house and a lonely house and wake up, go to school and do it all over again. I am so thankful for that journey now, but I think in that moment it was it was really rough. Yeah, mentally I was I was pretty bad.

SPEAKER_00 13:57

So when you graduate, did you have plans to go to a particular school at graduation? Were you like looking at a particular college? Was there any sort of I mean, with your path with cheerleading, was there a particular path that you felt like you needed to follow?

SPEAKER_01 14:10

For sure. I think in the cheer community, you're kind of pushed to go to a a collegiate college or something that's very competitive, especially these junior colleges. And at that time, there was so much going on my senior year between working, things were going on with my parents, and they were in the middle of a divorce, actually. So they decided to divorce my senior year. And they had been kind of waiting until I ended up moving out of the house. Um, but I I didn't really like settle on any other school other than the University of Texas. I remember my junior year, I went to a clinic and everything about the school to the motivation between the athletes and the student athletes and just kind of like the environment within itself. I mean, I love the fact that it was like a college in a city. And so when my parents told me they were getting divorced and everyone had a decision on their college already, I kind of was scrambling and I was like mentally just not in a great place. And I told myself, you know what? I'm gonna help my parents through this divorce. I'm gonna stay home for a year, I'm gonna work, do community college, keep a 4.0, and hopefully transfer to the University of Texas. And that's the one school I would have done anything for. I mean, I I had applied to other schools and I had gotten in, but I told myself if I just waited one year that I could just get in the the University of Texas. And so I kept going to the clinics, I kept going down there to visit. Um, and that ended up having its own result in itself. But yeah, that was the one school I would have done anything for. And the cheer team there is actually not a competitive team. It's just a very like sideline, old school cheerleading type thing. But I think I wanted, I did everything I wanted to in the cheer world competitively. And there was nothing more I could have done. It was the top of the top I could have gotten out. So that for me was like a different endeavor doing spirit type of cheerleading. Um, yeah, that was kind of the goal of my senior year and that freshman year of staying home.

SPEAKER_00 15:45

So did you um did you so you had to wait out a year? Did you were you ever able to get into UT?

SPEAKER_01 15:51

So actually, my that first year that I had stayed, I made the University of Texas cheer team. So you could actually make the team before actually getting accepted into the school. Gotcha. And so I had recommendation letters, and at that time I was actually doing an internship. But I was flying back from the internship to Austin and back home and doing that. Um, and I was actually in the appealing process, so I'd gotten denied, and then I ended up writing three appeal letters, and the coaches were very adamant saying, We'll put you, you know, a good word in. I promise you, you know, your grades are messed up, you have great um word of mouth. Like we were positive you're gonna make it. So I wrote that out, wrote that out for all summer, and then the tail end of July, I ended up getting told that I was just completely denied. And that was so crushing. The fact that I'd stay at home and was so convinced that I I could make it in, and it just didn't work out that way.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

Did they give you what did they give you any indicators as to what the reason was for that decision?

SPEAKER_01 16:46

So I think no, the admissions office is pretty is pretty stern, and like unless maybe you show up to the office itself and ask, um, they won't really give you a reason. I think also I wasn't in a UT feeder school. So whether that was like University of Texas El Paso or UNT, um, because I was out of community college, I was probably the last considered. Um, but yeah, I never really got an answer out of that. But you know, the coaches in the program, they were super supportive and they were hoping that I would uh wait one semester, try again in in the spring, and just life had different plans for me. And I think that it was all part of the journey that I'm on now. But uh that was definitely a really, really hard moment for me to digest, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

I can imagine. And all that all that work and effort, you know, put into I think that's man, I can I I can count on both my hands how many times I've wanted something so badly and put everything into it that I could and then just nothing. Yeah, just it all sometimes it it's that gut-wrenching, like it like it almost not like you know, you you don't have your hands on it yet, but it still feels like it got taken from you. Like you had your hands on it and it's taken away even though you didn't, you know.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

Totally. And I think, well, also I think my frustration lay that like throughout my high school career, I'd done everything to work hard and you know, stay on top of my priorities and and never falter in that. And I thought that, you know, just if in case I just worked so hard to the point where I'd beat myself up, that I would just somehow get the reward out of it. And I was so convinced that that was the way to go. And it was the most humbling lesson of my life that no matter how hard you want something or how hard you work, that result is never promised. And so getting that answer, it was such a stab in the gut, but I really had this gut feeling that that was meant to happen, even though it wasn't what I expected, what I was I wanted. And I I mean, I put in so much gas, time, effort, and energy. And also being in the cheerleading season, obviously, when football comes around, you should have everything prepared to your skills, to your chance, to your partner stunts. And I've done everything for that. And so it had just seemed like all my hard work went to waste, um, which it turned out it didn't. But I yeah, that was a really hard point to kind of accept that some things are just not gonna work out for you.

SPEAKER_00 18:42

Yeah, it's a it's a it's a great way to uh adjust your expectations. Totally. Which is I think has been the story of my life too. I'm very much learning these days in my old age not to not to have any expectations to just yeah, expect nothing, accept everything. You know, it's just it is what it is. Totally. So you um you mentioned that you had to live alone for a while at at 19. How did that is that from when you moved to Bentonville?

SPEAKER_01 19:07

So actually this was before I moved to Bentonville. So this is like that first year of college that I was staying home and doing school online. So this is actually such a crazy story, but so I worked at a steakhouse called Del Frisco's. Some of you may know it. And I it was a night that I was not supposed to work. It was a table that I was not supposed to pick up, and one of my God bless her, Claudia, she told me she was like, Sarah, it's a Friday night, you have nothing to do, let's just go work. So I went in that night and I ended up getting this table at the very end of the night. And it was a group of four men. And I remember walking with my book, introducing myself, and maybe within the first 10-15 minutes, there was one person who was very adamant about knowing, like, where are you from? What's your story? Like, how did you get here? And I think that like I love people that like that who are just naturally curious about strangers. And I ended up clicking really along with these group of men, and you know, they told me they said, We're here for a trade show. We would love for you to come. Maybe just take a look around. If it has, you know, you have no interest in it, then don't worry about it. But if you do, we'd love to have you. And it wasn't on my front lobe. I think I kind of just dismissed it. You know, it looked like a sales pitch to me. So I kind of was like, whatever. And ended up later that weekend, so I went to a class and then I came back and I sat in my room on Sunday, and I was like, why don't I just try? You know, it wouldn't hurt to try to go see this trade show. And something in me was just like, just go. And I didn't end up even telling my parents. I told my dad I was going to a lunch, and I ended up getting dressed up, and then I went to a trade show. And graciously enough, the CEO kind of gave me a tour and showed me kind of around what the industry is and kind of sat with me at the end of it and was like, I want to work with you. I want you in in my company, whether that's an internship or natural position. And he was like, obviously, you wouldn't be in Texas. We have no locations in Texas, but if you are willing to do something, I'm willing to work with you. Because he was aware that I was trying to go to the University of Texas. I had cheer going on, and I'd never been in an internship before, but I ended up taking the journey um to Augusta, Georgia by myself. And I drove 14 hours to do that. And that was the first time leaving my family, but also I think I'd always been independent growing up, so it wasn't a huge change. Um, but living alone at 19, I mean, that was such a scary process. And I think I learned so much, but I was so isolated, and it just felt like all the bad thoughts that I sit with, you know, on my front lobe just like ate me alive. Um, but I'm glad that I pushed through it, you know. And it's I still learned so much to this day living alone. But I think again, the comparison thing, seeing all my friends in college with their buddies having so much fun at the time of their life. And I'm over here in the middle of blazing hot Georgia in this town I have no idea about, you know. So yeah, I started living by myself when I was 19.

SPEAKER_00 21:38

Wow. So by yourself in a place you'd never been, never I guess I was gonna say never heard of, but that's probably not true at that point. Um huh, that's interesting. So you you took the internship and and then basically left cheer behind.

SPEAKER_01 21:52

Yeah, well, so I love competitive completely. And then I was also flying from Augusta to Austin because I was still part of the team awaiting for my approval for the Admissions. And so that's what Ollie did all summer was work, work out, go to cheer, fly to Austin, fly back, do stuff for my internship. And they were really gracious, letting me kind of do those things. You know, they wanted my my passion for cheerleading and UT to be on the front low. But um, yeah, that was kind of the beginning, that was last summer actually, of my wow journey.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

Wow. And so now, and so what then ended up bringing you to Bentonville?

SPEAKER_01 22:22

Yeah. So whenever I ended up getting denied from UT, they kind of gave me two options. They were like, one, we would still love to have you keep you here at the company. But if you do need to go home, reassess, kind of do the semester and then see if you want to get back in the spring, you're more than welcome to do that. And for me, I just believed that everything had happened for a reason. Like I had done everything in my power to get into UT and it just didn't work for me. But I have this amazing company, someone who doesn't even have a degree yet, um, took a chance with me. And so I kind of said, you know what? Let me see what I can do. And if I'm willing to take that jump to go to Bentonville, I definitely will. So it was a couple options. It was like Minnesota, Bentonville, or South Carolina. I'd only heard of Bentonville through the grade vine, um, like Walmart Central. So I ended up looking things up and they told me, we'll give you a three-month grace period. We'll do an extended internship in Bentonville for three months through December. If you love it, you can stay there, take, you know, whatever you want with it. If you don't, you can end up going back home. Um, and so yeah, I did an extended internship here in Bentonville.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

I think it's a good choice because I don't know why anybody wants to live in Minnesota.

SPEAKER_01 23:20

Right. I'm not critical. It is not my thing.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

No, and I don't I'm not a fan of South Carolina either. North Carolina's okay, but South Carolina not so much. Right. So from from all of these things, um, you know, you you've hit you know pivot points and you've learned to reassess and to to take stock of where you are. Um what do you what do you think are the most maybe one to three like lessons, like things that you've been able to sort of pull out of these experiences, you know, because you've you've hit challenges almost from the you know the moment of almost from being born practically, you know, from coming to a country that you've never been to, probably had maybe hadn't heard of at eight years old, you know. I don't know. So um, you know, there's there's certainly things in in the conversations that we've had outside of this podcast, you know, you're you you have a solid head on your shoulders. And I'm uh I'm thoroughly impressed with how young you are, how insightful and and sort of focused that you are. So I'm curious for people listening, especially people, you know, your age, um, what are the what are the things, the main things that you feel like you've taken from this that you've been able to apply to yourself to really push forward?

SPEAKER_01 24:28

Yeah, I think my first one would definitely be whether that's family or friends, if you have a vision, if you have a passion for something that you want to do, any chance that you get, any opportunity that you have, take it. Run with it. Because it's very little to none that people get offered these opportunities to fulfill your dreams. And it's scary, it's frightening. You hear from your parents even that don't do that, it's stupid, or you know, you should be going into this area. And you know, I think for me, the one thing, the biggest blessing in my life was taking risks at things I had no idea what I was getting into. And the biggest blessings came out of it. But I think trusting your path for one. So whatever you want, whatever you desire and dream of, take any chance of it, no matter what anybody says. Two would definitely be the comparison is the thief of your own joy. I used to compare myself to everyone around me since I was a young kid from moving from Japan, then to middle school, people not working like I was working, and then in high school, being kind of excluded from that like popular group because I was working so hard, then to now, where I'm not doing that university experience. And I realized, you know, but probably wasn't until last year I seriously realized that maybe not being with the herd of the crowd is a good thing. And it wasn't always a bad thing. But I always realized I could never enjoy my moment because I was constantly trying to chase other people's moment. And I was sitting there saying, Well, they have this and I don't have this, and why did they get to live so much easier than I do? And I started realizing like there's so many blessings in my life, but I'm so blindsided because I'm so worried about other people. And that for me, I that's when I started living, when I stopped comparing myself completely and realized like I'm on my own journey, everyone has their own struggles, and I'm I can't be ignorant to knowing that like what I go through, maybe someone else is going through in a different way, but I'm just not seeing that. So yeah, two, stop comparing yourself because everyone's on a different path. Some people find success at 20, some people find success at 50. So that for me was definitely huge. Three is it's kind of a hard one to swallow, but stop feeling sorry for yourself. For so long, I used to pity my life. I used to be like, you know, why don't I get this? Or why is everything so much harder for me, or why are my parents divorcing at 18? Why didn't I get into UT? And it became this like pity pool that I was sitting in. And because no matter how hard I worked, I still didn't get what I wanted. But I realized like there's no one at the end of the day is gonna care. It's only gonna be who's gonna care. It depends on what I'm gonna do with my results in my life. Am I gonna pick up and keep moving and and and thank the things that I've been through to form me who I am today, or am I gonna sit there and just weep about it? And then when I'm 70 on my deathbed, I'm gonna damn wish that I did do something about it, you know, and not and not pity myself. Um and it's hard not to. I think whenever you get in your head and your own perception and you wake up as you and you go to bed as you, it's very easy to say, I've been failed, and life has done me wrong. Life has done everybody wrong. It just depends on what you're gonna do about it. And so, yeah, that's my biggest lesson this past year that I've learned is to stop feeling sorry for myself and the outcomes of my reality is it comes down to me.

SPEAKER_00 27:17

Yeah, absolutely. Um, I I came across something a while back and it it just kind of struck me. And so I started telling myself to, you know, you take the risk or you're gonna keep doing the same shit for the rest of your life. You know, so it's it makes sense, you know. And I and I like that, the uh not uh the comparison and the pity party, because I know that that's it's super easy, and it's super easy for someone like myself who's sort of a recovery and people pleaser, and that that comparison, it's it's um over the years has definitely held me back where I've been had opportunities I could have done something like, oh, I was too scared, or you know, whatever it was, and I compared myself. So what do you think has been the most influential sort of failure that you've had, like a real moment that, like, I guess you'd call it your biggest failure, the one that really was a turning point for you?

SPEAKER_01 28:05

I will say it was not getting into UT. And it sounds so silly because people say don't make your whole life or your whole decisions or emotions based on the excitements of a college. But I think because for me, I had this blindness of thinking that if I just laser focused on one place that I would 100% get in. And I didn't want to make it my life goal, which is why I never really focused too much on college and junior or my senior year. I had great grades and I could get into other colleges. But I think that one closed door in my face, no matter how much I did, I think was probably my biggest motivator at the end of the day, because I told myself, you know, if I didn't get into university, there's something bigger on the other end for me. There's gotta be. And if it's not here, then it's somewhere else. So I always thought, like, either way, I'm gonna win. Either way, whether I get into UT or I don't get into UT, I'm gonna win. And whether that's in my career or my personal life. And I think between my parents divorcing, working by myself when I was 18, 19, um, and then also, yeah, just not getting a UT, that was a really challenging year for me to because it just felt like whichever way I went, it did, it didn't work out for me. But here I am a year later, and I would never have imagined the life that I lived. But I I'm I'm so blessed to be where I am. And I think understanding that sometimes nos are your greatest blessing because you'll never know where you'll end up. And sometimes there's just something bigger on the other end of it, and you just have to trust that.

SPEAKER_00 29:24

So um, before we wrap, I've got a few things I'll throw at you here in a minute. They're just kind of fun questions the way I like to end these things. But before we do that, is there anything, um, anything else you feel like you that uh that I didn't ask you that you wanted to answer, or anything kind of parting words you want to leave?

SPEAKER_01 29:40

Um maybe in terms of so my age and the people that I'm surrounding myself with, I think has a huge influence on my life. Um, I think a lot of people are kind of scared to talk to a different crowd or older people or someone in a professional area. And I think a lot of young people like me, they're kind of scared of the idea of professionalism or that kind of workforce area. And you go into it being like, I know nothing, I'm a dummy, I'm at the bottom of the bottom. But you kind of like realize like everyone goes through that. And to understand that to develop mastery, you have to start at beginner level. And that was a huge helming moment for me. I think when I was in high school, I was great at my job, I was great at school, great at cheerleading, and I had this mastery kind of mindset. Then I got, you know, to Bentonville and I was like, I know nothing, I really don't know anything. Um, but I had to realize like that's okay. And and starting at the beginning, that's okay because everyone who's great at what they do now sucked at it at one point. So I think giving yourself grace, not trying to rush things, and especially someone like me who is young, it's really easy to compare yourself to 30, 40-year-olds around you, and especially in a town like Bentonville that's so creative and so successful. Um, just understanding that things take time, but as long as you keep working at them and maybe 1% better than you were yesterday, you'll end up getting there just like everybody else. But enjoy the moments that you have now because I used to have an issue of visualizing and imagining my dream life and letting things that I just let fly by me. And I wish I really just like cherished those moments. So, yeah, cherishing where you are now in the process that you are. Yes, obviously have dreams and have goals, but don't ever get lost in what you have now because one day you're gonna wish that you could go back.

SPEAKER_00 31:19

Yeah. I think being present is huge and it's not the destination, right? The journey is the is the I mean that that's what it's about, isn't it? The process.

SPEAKER_01 31:27

Totally.

SPEAKER_00 31:28

So, all right, I'm gonna throw some fun little questions at you here.

SPEAKER_01 31:31

Let's hear them.

SPEAKER_00 31:31

All right, so what what is your favorite snack?

SPEAKER_01 31:34

Ooh, I'm not a big snacker, but you know those um honey pretzel like crumb bites? Oh, what company makes that? Snyder's the Snyder's honey mustard bites. That's what it is. Those are really, really good. Yeah, I'm not a huge snacker, but those will get me.

SPEAKER_00 31:52

All right. And what what is it about those that is it because I hate honey mustard, so I'm just curious. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 31:59

I think it's like, I don't even like pretzels that much. And it's like they're so deep in flavor, and they just come in these like little perfect bike crunchy little things, and it's like a perfect road snack. Like I'll take them on like a road trip with me everywhere I go.

SPEAKER_00 32:13

All right. I figure when I go on road trips, I think it's you know, you it's probably I think you've probably seen it around Facebook. It's and it's true. I've always thought this that um when you go on a road trip, it's important that you go to the gas station and spend hundreds of dollars on absolute crap. Just shit food while you're driving.

SPEAKER_01 32:28

Or money buddies. Money buddies are great.

SPEAKER_00 32:31

I'm I'm really a nerd cluster guy on the road. Oh, really?

SPEAKER_01 32:33

I'm too much sugar, though. Oh, it's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

All right. Uh so we'll stay with the food theme for a second here. If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Dolce Sushi.

SPEAKER_01 32:48

One meal. Yeah, no, I would not say it was um probably a penning olive vodka pasta. I could eat that every single day if I wanted to.

SPEAKER_00 32:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 32:57

Yeah, I'm a huge fan of Italian.

SPEAKER_00 32:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 32:59

And I've never been to Italy, but I've I'm probably its number one fan.

SPEAKER_00 33:02

Oh, Italian food is great when it's from it. In Italy, it's amazing. Yeah, I've I did that. I went to Rome many years ago and uh Italian. Yeah, it's yeah, it's they know how to live there. They really do.

SPEAKER_01 33:12

I'm so jealous. I envy everybody who's been to Italy. Oh, it's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 33:16

Uh so let's see. What what would you if you could go anywhere right now? Doesn't matter what no no obstacles, nothing. You could just get up and go right now. What's the first place you go to?

SPEAKER_01 33:26

Oh, geez. Paris. Okay. Fair for sure, Paris. I know some people say when they go, it's like a a little bit of a disappointment whether that's like, you know, it's not what you see on social media, but I would love to see the culture there and kind of like little pastries and the bakery shops and like local businesses. I think that'd be a really fun place to go.

SPEAKER_00 33:43

Nice. Yep. Nice, okay. Man, anywhere I could go right now. I've got so many places I want to go. I think right now I would like to go to uh Scotland.

SPEAKER_01 33:56

Hmm.

SPEAKER_00 33:56

Yeah. Yeah. I've never it's it's it's in the ancestry for one, but I've seen so many pictures of Scotland and just I just I just want to go. Totally. Yeah, I think it'd be amazing. See all the old rundown castles.

SPEAKER_01 34:09

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:10

So it'd be pretty cool.

SPEAKER_01 34:11

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 34:11

So what do you, if anything, what do you miss most about Japan?

SPEAKER_01 34:16

The mannerisms of people. I think people are so much more comforting, they're respectable, especially to like elderly or just anybody older than you. I think a lot of people, whether that's in like they do a well job of making a clear difference of their personal life to how they are viewed in public. So just very mannered, um, very respected. Um, yeah, I think that that they're just like it's more of a community there, no matter where you are. So I definitely miss that aspect. Um, you just feel like you have family all around you.

SPEAKER_00 34:45

Nice. The the what is it? The ike guy? Iky guy.

SPEAKER_01 34:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:50

I was just I actually just listened to a book the other day about that. And it's really funny because the guy's pronunciation sounded like he kept saying icky guy. I was like, like a gross dude. That's weird. Yeah. So I I would love to, I would Japan's also at the top of my list. I really want to. I've had some friends that have been there a number of times. Yeah. So um, let's see. Gotta gotta leave you with one final. Um, what would you do for a living if if money wasn't an issue, if you didn't have to make money, what job would you want to do for the rest of your life? Well, I mean, to quit working, but you know.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

It sounds so it's it's so tied to work though. Like I want to be a CEO of my own business, I want to be an entrepreneur. I would love to do something like that. Maybe even to have something in like the music industry. I've always been like on a low key, as such a lover for music, and and I admire producers that produce great music. So something in the music industry, but being an entrepreneur within that, um, yeah, that'd be great. I would love to do something like that.

SPEAKER_00 35:43

Very cool. That sounds pretty awesome. I I've always uh wanted to be, I like to say that I'm a musician, but only because I've played the guitar for 20 something years. Almost 30 years. Yeah, that's uh yeah. I wish I was better than I am. My mom my mom once told me that I should uh she said, you should go and try to get on at one of those studios and play for them. I'm like, you do you know what a studio player is? They're exceptionally talented, and I am not. There's no fly by night in there.

SPEAKER_01 36:12

I only can play two songs on the piano, so you're steps ahead for me. All right on topic of the color.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

I can't play anything on well, I can play one little thing on the piano, but it's not a song. It's uh it's from an old video game on a computer. But anyway. Um you're probably not familiar with it. It's uh it's an old game called Mist. It's really old. It was like probably like Windows 96 or something, 97, whatever it was. Yeah, but it was a real play with a rollie pole. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Somewhere at the foot of Mount Fuji. Right. Uh all right. Anything else? Any parting words you want to throw out there? If there's any um if you have social media or something you want somebody to follow or anything like that.

SPEAKER_01 36:49

Oh yeah, I have an Instagram. It's Sarah S-A-R-A-J the Letter, and then B-E-C-H-T. Same thing for Twitter. I don't use Facebook, not a TikToker. But yeah, definitely less two platforms. Um, you can find me there.

SPEAKER_00 37:01

Cool, cool. All right. Well, Sarah, thank you very much. Appreciate the time.

SPEAKER_01 37:04

Thank you for having me. I have I've had so much fun.

SPEAKER_00 37:11

I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, please share it with anyone you think might also enjoy it. And if you'd like the show, please consider supporting it. It's the support of listeners like you that keeps us going. If you'd like to help, there's a link in the show notes. I'd like to thank all of our guests who've taken the time to have these conversations and share their insights on failures, both personal and professional. If you want to follow the show, the website is www.points of failure.buzzsprout.com. And you can find us on Facebook and Instagram as Failure Points Pod and on Twitter as failurepoints. Please like and share, and remember to rate and review the show on whichever podcast platform you use. The ratings and reviews really help and keep us going. If you'd like to contact us directly with questions or guest suggestions, you can email us at failurepointspod at gmail.com. Again, thank you for listening. We'll see you next time on Points of Failure.