S2E10- Loving your life

On this episode, we talk to Jessica G. She’s a woman on a mission. With an established career as a successful entrepreneur, she combines her talents of brand management and persuasive speaking to be a beacon of light, creating momentum for change. Her natural ability to raise the vibration of any room is felt through her illuminating sparkle, tenacity, and desire to create hope for so many. We discuss loving life, protecting your energy, and leaving a legacy.

This episode contains discussions about suicide. While suicide is often associated with feelings of loneliness and isolation, it is a shared and far-reaching public health problem. As the tenth leading cause of death in the United States in 2019, suicide affects all ages and types of people. But thanks to an increase in awareness and resources, prevention efforts have become more common and effective.

Despite outdated misperceptions, suicide is neither a personal failure nor the evidence of mental illness, but rather a common human response to difficult environmental factors and emotional pain. Improving life circumstances, enhancing social connections, and reducing emotional pain are the most effective ways to reduce the frequency and intensity of suicidal thoughts and feelings.

Mental health organizations around the country recognize National Suicide Prevention Week and Suicide Prevention Awareness Month during the month of September each year. However, working together to develop our collective understanding and awareness of suicide in order to prevent it is something we need to be doing every day. Talking to a counselor about any questions you have about how to help support others or how to get help for yourself is a great place to start.

 988 is the new three-digit dialing code that routes callers to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. The ACA has produced a series of relevant educational videos available to the public for free.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

Coming up on points of failure.

SPEAKER_02 0:02

At the end of the day, you have to be the one to actually save yourself. So it's not self-help, it's help self. You have to help yourself because nobody's gonna save you. And once you take responsibility for that, once you understand that, it can empower you in a certain way.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Welcome to the Points of Failure podcast. I'm your host, Steve Kaufman. On Points of Failure, we discuss all kinds of failure from inaction to impulse. We have conversations with guests who share their knowledge, their successes, and of course their failures. Our hope is that you'll find something useful in each episode to help you understand the areas in your life where you feel you have failed, are failing, or fear that you will fail, and how to manage those feelings and potentially mitigate future failures. Before we dive into today's show, a quick bit of housekeeping. We are in the process of changing hosting platforms. We were on anchor, now we're moving to Buzz Sprout. You can still listen to all the episodes wherever you've been getting them. We've just changed host. And the new website is actually points of failure.buzzsprout.com. In this episode, I mentioned the anchor website because this was recorded before the change. Now, on to today's show. On this episode, we talked to Jessica G. She's the owner of the Hair Lab, Swanky Upscale Hair Salon in Northwest Arkansas, CEO of Moxie Media Marketing, and founder of Justin Time to Save a Life, a nonprofit based on suicide education and prevention. She's also a spokesperson and a brand ambassador. We discuss loving life, protecting your energy, and leaving the legacy. I hope you enjoy the show. We are here with Jessica Greenwalds. Jessica G, as she prefers. Just give us a quick background, who you are, where you're from, kind of thing, and then uh we'll go from there.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

Okay, well, um, yes, I like to be addressed as Jessica G. My full name is Jessica Greenwald. Who am I? I'm a lot of things. I'm a lot of things. Um, let's just see. Let's start with I'm a salon owner. I'm in the hair lab by Jessica G in Bentonville, which I'm very dedicated and committed to. We have an amazing uh group of women that I've trained, and uh the salon is doing absolutely amazing. Let's see. I run a nonprofit called Just in Time to Save a Life, and that's for suicide prevention. It is to help those with their lack of commitment to life. And I'm really excited for 23 because we're building, we're actually building the program. We got a lot of our funding that we were needing, and we're gonna be holding um an event uh locally to to raise money and to raise awareness to actually make that happen this year. So that's a big goal. I'm also the brand ambassador for the Queen's Retreat and Photo Shoot, and we are having our first event in Orange County in March, and it's called the OC two-day executive workshop. And this is where we bring in high-level clientele. Um, we teach them about hair, makeup, empowering women, like empowered women empower other women. We have connective circles, and we help them um find their perfect power suit or power outfit, and we take photos of them for LinkedIn, and so I'm really excited about that because that's kind of new, I think, since we last talked. Um and then that stems off, and then there's actually a retreat outside of that. But our first kickoff uh is going to be a two two-day executive workshop. Um, what else? I'm cool, I'm fun, I'm outgoing, I'm loving.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

Um walks on the beach, etc.

SPEAKER_02 3:30

Yeah. All the things, right?

SPEAKER_00 3:33

Nice, nice. Okay, well, what got you in the hair?

SPEAKER_02 3:35

Oh my goodness. Oh gosh. I mean, my parents told me when I was four years old I wanted to be a hairdresser or do commercials or be a movie star. And so I think I've had a passion to um just connect and make people feel beautiful from the inside out, um, whether that be through a conversation or whether that be for a full transformation. It's basically written in the stars um that I am an alchemist of beauty. I can't tell you how many times that's like come up for me. And working with all of the high-level executives in Bettonville, um, in Beverly Hills, I just have gotten such great feedback that has helped build my confidence because I have been doing this for 18 years, so it's a true passion. Very good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:19

So, what um your nonprofit, can you tell me a little bit more about that?

SPEAKER_02 4:23

Yeah, so um unfortunately, I lost my dad and brother to suicide about five years ago, and I actually struggled with my own suicide um from the age of 13. And I, you know, went to counseling, I used coping mechanisms, I just struggled with my mental health tremendously. Um, just through um generational trauma, childhood trauma, and you know, basically how I grew up and the decisions that I made about myself at a young age, it just didn't help. Um, but now I'm in such a better place and I was over to overcome that, and I truly see hope and I truly see a way out for people. And I'm the perfect person to speak about that because not only did I lose my dad and brother, I myself was suicidal. But I'm living a life that I'm thriving and that I love, and I'm more excited about my future than I am addicted to the pain of my past because a lot of us get in these vicious circles that cause depression, and so that's a why I want to create the program, and one of my really amazing goals within the next two years is I want to do a uh TED talk, and I'm really excited about that, and I've had visions for it. And when you just know that you're supposed to do something, because I have to ask God, you know, why why why did this happen to me? Like, how do I get through this? How do I make this better? And you know, he takes the bad things in the world that happened and he turns them around for good, and I feel like I have a calling and a purpose not only to empower women within the hair lab, but also within this nonprofit. So I I am like, you caught me on like a great day because like I am I have momentum, I'm on fire, I'm excited, and I'm taking action.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

Very cool. It's that's I think that's a good thing to have. I have um I've lost a few friends over the years to to suicide, and that's a it's a tough thing. So it's I'm sure it's not an easy thing to manage either, though. You know, even running the nonprofit, you know, sort of a constant reminder type of thing.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

Yeah, so there was a point where because I opened I opened up the nonprofit five years ago, so it's a really good point that you make. Um I wasn't in a position to speak for a nonprofit or you know, build a program at that time. I just knew that a piece of my heart was missing and I didn't want other people to to feel that way. There will always be grief, but because I'm on the other side of it, it's not as heavy as it used to be. And I feel like I can be a beacon of light and hope uh to other people because I'm not just the pretty blonde that had everything handed to her. I don't I I have a very dark past. Uh I did not have an easy upbringing. So for me to be where I'm at today, I know that if I can do it, that other people can do it, and I truly believe in like what I'm doing. But you're right, you know, a lot of the people that are like, hey, they're reaching out because they want to volunteer because they've lost other people, you know. I say you need to make sure that you're protecting your own energy and protecting yourself because even when you hear about things on the news or celebrities that commit suicide or people that you know or that are close to you, do it does trigger you, right? But in order to shorten that emotional refractory period to where you stay low, some of these tools are going to be in that program to get you out of it. Because the key is not to stay, because we're all gonna have highs, we're all gonna have lows. It's it's silly to think that we're just gonna live this like amazing, happy life, everything's gonna be rainbow and sunshine. Like it's just not, we're gonna have highs and lows, but it's how long do you stay there and how how can you shorten that emotional refractory period and tools in order to do that to get back into to feeling up, up, up, or higher again.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

Nice. So you're doing uh do you have like a combination of like a counseling program and an education program, or do they sort of run together?

SPEAKER_02 8:10

So we haven't like built the program yet. Everything is we're we're we're still I feel like I've built the program like in my mind. It's more gonna be about like me sharing. We're gonna have a crisis-centered program for those that are in a crisis, um, and it's gonna be geared around that, and and then we're gonna have one for like your lack of commitment to life, and then we're gonna have like one for coping skills, and we're gonna connect all of the other sources that are out there, people that nonprofits that are already um trying to slow the curve and stop suicides as well. So there's gonna be an abundant amount of information. But the thing is that in this um time that we're living, there's so much we're drowning in information, but it's the application of it, right? We've got love and light. Light is information, love is applying it. So being more loving to ourselves and to other people is is truly what's gonna help as well, than breaking it down into how I think is how I feel. And if I'm feeling depressed, I need to look at my thinking, waking up and making those changes every day. Because uh, at the end of the day, as much information is out there, as many counseling sessions as you can go to, as many mental institutions or medicine that you can take or you know, check yourself into, at the end of the day, you have to be the one to actually save your health self. So it's not self-help, it's help self. You have to help yourself because nobody's gonna save you. And once you take responsibility for that, once you understand that, it can empower you in a certain way. That's kind of part of what we're gonna be um teaching on as well.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

What sort of challenges do you feel like you have faced in over the with everything that you're doing, you can just sort of put it all in one big umbrella in one big bucket?

SPEAKER_02 9:48

Oh my gosh. Okay, so there's so much that I want to do, and I'm like, I dream big. I think the two things that can can sabotage anyone is not taking action, you know, because you feel paralyzed, because you get so overwhelmed, um, and not not finishing what you start, you know. Yeah. Um, because you don't know the how, right? Like I know, I knew that I wanted to open up the hair lab, but you know, 10 years ago, I didn't know how, right? So sometimes you don't have to be so, I was so focused on the how that I would get stressed out that I wasn't taking action. When I started just like meditating and like tapping into what it would feel like to own my own salon, and like all the resources are coming to me, and I'm living in a state of abundance instead of a state of scarcity, was when things started showing up for me in life, and I started attracting more of those high-level clients and um the right people to work here because that was a big key in me opening up the hair lab was um Becca Adams. Within the salon, I think one of my challenges would be enforcing policy. I did a lot of emotional discounting, and I did not want to lean into hard conversations when it came to no call, no shows. And every business coach that I hired is like, Jessica, why are you not doing this? And I'm like, Because she's been with me for so long, and it's like okay, when when you start coming from being an artist for so long and then and then opening a salon and running a business, being in charge of other people's livelihoods puts me in a different seat. So I was like, I can't let them make those mistakes that I made. I can't let them emotional discount because I'm looking at operating costs, I'm looking at everything, you know. I'm like, I have a spreadsheet now. Like I'm like, who am I? I'm scared of spreadsheets. So so I think enforcing policies and setting boundaries was one of the hardest things, and and not being so overwhelmed that you didn't take action.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

That makes sense. I remember in my restaurant days, I uh as a manager, um, I was I was always kind of a nice guy, and I always hated it when I had to write somebody up or I had to fire one person, and it's just you know, those hard I actually remember one of the hardest conversations I ever had. We had a guy that worked at one of our servers, and I don't know what his situation was at the time, but he always smelled really bad.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

Like like dirty laundry and be it was bad. It's pretty bad. And everybody would complain. And so I had to have yeah, so I had to have a conversation with this guy. I'm like, how do I tell the guy he stinks without being mean and like fake? So that was, yeah, it's it's those hard conversations that are like it's almost like I think I'll just be an employee. I have to be mean to people.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

And I and I think that you made a point there too, is um, it can be a lonely place to be when you are a boss or you have a higher level job than others, but we're not doing anybody else any favors by just trying to be liked by everybody. Like I tell the girls, I'm like, look, you're not gonna always like me because I'm gonna tell you you're gonna have to go back and do that again because you didn't test out for it. And you may have tried, you know, one, two, three, four, five times until you actually test out. And I can't tell you how many no's I got before I finally got a yes. Did you know that Walt Disney had over, I believe it's, don't quote me, I believe it's around 300 times. He wanted to get a business loan for Walt Disney. Um nobody would give him a loan because they thought it was crazy.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 13:07

And it took, I think, him 300 times.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

Wow, geez, I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_02 13:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:11

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 13:12

Yeah, so just keep going, right? If you believe in something, if you work hard and you believe, the universe God will always help you catch your dreams. And that was something that my little brother Justin left. It was his last quote that he left on his Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 13:25

Um, what's this uh Mark Manson? Good if anybody listens to my podcast, the two people that do, it's uh I mentioned. We're gonna change that. We're gonna change that. Uh I mention Mark Manson all the time. He's like my favorite author, but he um one of the things that he says is in our quest to be liked by everybody leaves us not being liked by anybody. Yeah. And that's the reality, is when you set yourself, when you raise your set yourself to a high standard, then people will either rise to meet you at that standard or they'll cease to be people around you.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

That was a huge thing when he said that. I was like, man, that's that's big because for the longest time, you know, I uh people I had spent a lot of time with, I didn't want to cut them off, but I didn't want to do what they were doing. And so I was like, how do I solve that problem? And I finally realized, you know, I'm not being mean, taking control of my own life. Yeah. It doesn't mean I'm being a jerk or mean. I've just this is what I want. And it doesn't involve these things.

SPEAKER_02 14:17

Yeah, and I mean it's you're trying to take aligned action. And if you have people around you that don't have that same energy, they're gonna bring you down unless like you're in a position to teach them and they're they're willing to to to grow in that way. So that I mean that's I mean, yeah, it can be I wonder what your personality type is. Have you ever taken the personality tests?

SPEAKER_00 14:35

Uh I've done a few personality tests over the years. I'm not really a fan of them, you know. For the most part, I think they're they're crap, but um, it's uh I really like them.

SPEAKER_02 14:45

I think they're kind of cool. Just just a fun tool to kind of like um like I'm an INJTF or whatever, um, which is an advocate. And it kind of helps you like understand other people's personality types because also other people have different learning styles too.

SPEAKER_01 15:00

Right.

SPEAKER_02 15:00

Um, but there's there's I can't remember the name of that one, but there's like two out there that are actually good, and I don't know what the other ones are.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

I like uh I think it's called the Brinkman, and then maybe like an Enagram or something like that.

SPEAKER_02 15:11

Myers Briggs or something like that.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

Myers Briggs is more about like your own personality, but then like the Brinkman and stuff. Right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:17

It's like the 30-minute one.

SPEAKER_00 15:18

The others are more geared for business, and I like those because I feel like there's some insight there into how you operate. But the Myers Briggs, when I've taken it several times and uh because I did it in college a lot.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

Is that where you get the number or no?

SPEAKER_00 15:32

It's the ENTJ uh oh that is that's the Myers Briggs.

SPEAKER_02 15:35

See how little I know about it.

SPEAKER_00 15:36

And mine I think I was the first time I was an ENFP, I think. But now if I took it, I wouldn't be that because not necessarily. Well, because I don't I I operate almost entirely differently than I did when like when I was in my 20s. Oh my gosh, I was life with a party, center of attention. That's actually kind of obnoxious. It's probably big douche. But no these days now though, I'm I'm I like my time alone. Like, you know, I'm I sit I recharge that way, I don't want to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

Well, yeah, I mean, but there there is like because I think I don't think your your personality is supposed to change, but like the um like the introverted, extroverted part, the percentages change. So like because when I took it years ago, I had the same personality, but all of those percentages changed. And um, funny fact about me, most people think that I'm an extrovert, but I'm actually more introverted than I am sure extroverted. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

And I I think that's the thing is that people don't realize is that those that's not a polar object. Right. I'm not this or that slides.

SPEAKER_02 16:39

So just like a guiding tool, you know?

SPEAKER_00 16:41

Yeah, for sure. Gives you some little insight. I mean, they're they're kind of fun. Um we I I'm No, I'm gonna make you take one. I'm not sure you can make me do anything just like that.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

No, no, no, I'm kidding. Oh, that's so terrible.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

Let's go. She won, so I guess I will.

SPEAKER_02 16:58

Left-handed.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

Yeah, no, she killed it. It's so fast, I'm so weak. Um so what do you think your your like your biggest failure? I mean, what what's the like the one thing if you were to look at that and go, oh my gosh, this that just set me back?

SPEAKER_02 17:13

To be honest, I hate to admit it, but it would be toxic relationships.

SPEAKER_00 17:18

Um we all be there.

SPEAKER_02 17:20

Yeah, I actually just had a major breakthrough and aha moment where the universe was like, bring back the hot bad boy with all the tattoos, or the super charismatic narcissist, or the, you know, all of that. And like I had super responsibility, like I'm attracting that into my life. You know what I mean? Like, we have to realize that everything, so my biggest failure would would be staying in that pattern for way too long. Those are the types of people that hold you back. And so here today, when I talk about like the people that you surround yourself with, like you said, I don't want to cut them off, I feel bad, like they're not my friends, but they're not in aligned with the actions that I'm taking with my life. You feel bad because you don't want to leave behind, but everyone's on their own journey. But you're gonna find other people at higher levels that understand you, understand where you're at, and will help you, right? Because it's like you don't always want to be the person helping other people, you also want people that are ahead of you that are helping you and pulling you up, right? And I think that holding on to those people because I was either um had abandonment issues, or I was like scared to be alone, or I lived in scarcity. I think overall that was been my my biggest mistake or biggest failure. But you know, it's all a journey, and I have grace for myself, and I'm just really proud of myself that I've been able to finally like this. Is recent, like truly, finally, like any anybody that disturbs my peace, what brings toxic energy into my life, I will like love those negative people from afar. You know what I mean? Because I cannot afford the position that I am with becoming the spokesperson and the brand ambassador and running the nonprofit. I cannot afford to surround myself with people that are draining my energy and and taking it away because I have a responsibility because I have made a commitment to myself no matter what, that I'm gonna be the best version of me and I'm gonna try to be the highest version of myself. That's how I will be able to help other people in a more impactful way, and so yeah, but saying goodbye to those people sometimes is hard, but it's you have to make hard choices in life.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

Yeah, right. I feel like all of my friends would say, Hey Steve, did you hear what Jessica said? Because yeah, I uh that's probably my biggest feeling. It's a lot of horrible relationships.

SPEAKER_02 19:39

We're we're we are all this way, like everybody has these people that you know, yeah, or they realize they are being those people, and it's like, you know, even when I I talk to other people, I'm like, okay, like I want to talk to your highest self. Like, what is your highest self saying to you right now inside? And when we're in tune with that, and then we make that aligned action, like other things come.

SPEAKER_00 20:06

To your point, Jordan Harbinger says that um it's actually more than it's deeper than I'm attracting that person to me. It's it's actually I'm attracted to that person. And that was man, when I heard him say that, I was like, oh yeah, that's like layers, right? It's like, why'd you guys call me out like that, Jordan?

SPEAKER_02 20:25

Yeah, and I mean that's what self-work is all about, you know? And we all have trauma, we've all been through things, but the people that have been through so much trauma and aren't projecting it all over other people and still have love and empathy and compassion, those are the people in life that really impress me, and those are the people that I want to surround myself. Not to say that I'm not gonna help other people, because of course I am. I'm in a position to do that, but I'm not gonna have them in my close circle. Yeah, and it's it's it's an honor and it's a privilege to be my friend. And the people that are in my life, like it's an honor for Ashley, it's an honor for me to work with Ashley. It's I'm honored to work with Becca. I'm honored to work um with Paige just as much as it is for an honor for them to work with me. You know what I mean? It just needs to go both ways because when people empower other people, magical things happen.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

What do you think your biggest success has been?

SPEAKER_02 21:16

Failures are our successes, right?

SPEAKER_00 21:18

Sometimes, yeah. At least they hopefully lead to them.

SPEAKER_02 21:21

Yeah, I think that we learn from our failures. Like, what does it say on my wall over there?

SPEAKER_00 21:25

Failure is state where the most valuable lessons lessons are learned, right?

SPEAKER_02 21:31

So, because I guess looking back at the past and seeing where we failed, we learn the lessons and then we make the changes and we apply it, and that helps us become successful. But my biggest, I've had a lot of great successes even last year. Even opening a salon was a s was a success. I mean, this is one of my bus biggest successes is opening the salon and creating an environment that's healthy, that's thriving, that's growing. I I feel like the salon is one of my biggest, but I think even more so than that would probably Probably be me finding my finding a deep sense of self-worth and belonging because that's that's successful to me. Um happiness is success, right? So you can describe success in different ways. I've been very successful in a lot of things, but I think my biggest is to finally feel a deep sense of belonging here. Because for a long time I didn't, and walking around like that, it's it's hard. And it's not like I was trying to be a victim or I was trying to be a certain way, it's just I just didn't have the tools and I I just couldn't see a way out. And I was just coping and coping and coping. So I think that taking responsibility for my life and truly understanding that and having that deep sense of self-worth and belonging and having the courage and bravery to do those things is my biggest success.

SPEAKER_00 22:47

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SPEAKER_02 23:42

Yeah, just rolls off, right, into everything.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:44

Yeah, because because when I reached that point, that wasn't until I started actually putting action to all of all the dreams that I had before.

SPEAKER_00 23:52

Yeah, and I look at you, going everywhere.

SPEAKER_02 23:54

Look at me now.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

Nice work. Uh you got anything else happening? Any other business things? I mean, you've mentioned a few, but do you have anything else out there on the horizon or anything you're right in the middle of?

SPEAKER_02 24:05

I'm in the middle of a lot of stuff right now. Um, some of it's classified. Um, but I'm really excited about the um two-day workshop in Orange County that we're doing, the Queen's Retreat and Photoshop. And it's kind of cool. That'll have to be a different podcast because I can write a whole story about that. I'm just working on growing my business right now. I'm taking a ton of um energetic, like educational uh programs to learn how to protect my um energy, reserve my energy, whether that be behind the chair, working with clients, working with other people, working like you asked you asked me, you know, this must be really hard working in your nonprofit, right? Um, so ways to be able to operate at my highest level, but not completely wear myself down, right? Because it seems like I have so much going on. Um, and and taking making sure I'm taking that time. So I think that's kind of what 23 is about building the program, which is huge. Um, I know I need to update a ton of things on my website. I mean, I have a laundry list of things to do, but um, I think 23 is gonna be um a great year, and a lot of things will be moving and shaking. So I'm excited. Nice, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:15

Very cool.

SPEAKER_02 25:16

What about you? What's going on for you?

SPEAKER_00 25:18

Oh man, just this right here. Um, and I've got work. Uh the work is crazy busy, and uh like I was telling you earlier, I'm actually also co-hosting company podcast, which is called the Pet Industry Podcast. So um, one of the girls I work with, we co-host that. And there are two of the girls I actually work with. Um and then uh I'm trying to start another podcast again to get that going.

SPEAKER_02 25:38

Um so what is your dream? Like, if you could like what like can I get clarity on exactly like what is your dream? Like what do you like how do you see what what's what do you want?

SPEAKER_00 25:47

That's a good question. Um, you know, I I think right now what I'd really like to see is is my podcast be a be like a thing. I'd like to do that, you know, where I can actually hire a an editor and a producer. Yeah. Uh right now that's out of the outside the cost bubble, so I'll do it on my own. Yeah, I think I just it's just having my own thing. I think right now I'm just sort of in that space of what is the legacy I want to leave behind. And so I'm like, I love that legacy. Yeah, I'm just kind of I think I'm still figuring out what that looks like. Um, but yeah, right now it's the podcast. I I started the podcast because I wanted to write a book, but I didn't have content for the book, so I started the podcast to get content for the book, and now I'm just really enjoying the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 26:26

So if there's anything I can do to help you, let me know.

SPEAKER_00 26:30

I appreciate that. Alright, well let's uh let's wrap with a lot of fun with some fun questions here.

SPEAKER_02 26:34

Alright, I'm gonna shoot them back at you.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

Oh no. That's it's not that kind of podcast. Uh all right. What is the most adventurous thing you've ever done?

SPEAKER_02 26:42

Oh my goodness. Adventurous? So my grandpa called me Jesse James because I was such a little daredevil at such a young age. Goodness gracious. Tell you one of the stupidest things I did before, which may be considered adventurous. I jumped off an 80-foot cliff. Wow. Yeah. It was really scary.

SPEAKER_00 27:01

Why'd you do that?

SPEAKER_02 27:02

Um, because all the cool kids were doing it. I think I was like 15 or 16 and everyone was climbing. It was like hog's call.

SPEAKER_00 27:09

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:09

Yeah, and I had a wine cooler. That was real cool. Hurt my back. Not as smart. That's probably the stupidest thing I ever did.

SPEAKER_00 27:15

Was it Bottles and James?

SPEAKER_02 27:17

You may I you know, I don't remember. It tastes like it was like a grape thing. It was like grape. It was like probably the first time I ever even tasted alcohol. Tasted like um like a presun. Nice.

SPEAKER_00 27:26

You strike me as a wine cooler kind of girl.

SPEAKER_02 27:28

Oh great. I haven't had a wine cooler since I've been scarred. It was it was awful. Um, other than that would probably be traveling to Europe. I felt like I did that and yeah, I mean it was it's it's scary. It was scary for me to travel to Europe. Um, and I did it alone, so it was not alone, no. I did I did actually a girl came with me, but I ended up doing a lot of activities alone. But being in a foreign country, I think I've been in Costa Rica by myself at retreats before, but um traveling to far away places I think is maybe one of the most adventurous travel's pretty adventurous anyway.

SPEAKER_00 28:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:06

Jumping off jumping off cliffs and being adventurous. Just not 80-foot cliffs.

SPEAKER_00 28:11

Right?

SPEAKER_02 28:12

Small ones, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:13

A two-foot cliff.

unknown 28:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:15

Uh what has made you smile recently?

SPEAKER_02 28:18

Oh my gosh. Looking at my team, uh, yesterday I did a very beautiful post um because I believe that everybody deserves recognition. And Ashley, Ashley made me smile yesterday because sh her willingness and uh to stay late for a client that um that we ended up taking. Um, there's like a schedule conflict, and sweetest client ever. And just her willingness and eagerness and her dedication to all of the time that she spends on educating herself uh really makes me smile because it it it shows me that like okay, I'm doing something right. Because oftentimes, you know, I'm here alone, I'm by myself, I'm coming up with content and material for training. What can I do to help um Becca with her highlighting techniques? What what does the salon need? And so there's a lot of alone time. So when I actually see like the fruits of my labor, that really makes me smile, makes me feel so good. So I'm like, it's working.

SPEAKER_00 29:13

Nice. Well, I'm sure they appreciate working with you. What is the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?

SPEAKER_02 29:17

Ooh. The weirdest thing, besides like, oh my gosh. Okay, ew, it's so gross. The vegans out there are gonna hate me.

SPEAKER_00 29:27

Don't need to put an explicit tag on this. Right.

SPEAKER_02 29:30

So I have eaten a cow heart.

SPEAKER_00 29:33

Interesting, okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:34

Yeah. Organs. I follow this guy named Carnivore MD. He's really cool and healthy, and I believe a lot of his practices, and there's just so much like iron and minerals and things that our body needs. And he so he eats a lot of the organs. Obviously, cooked, and it tastes not quite like a fillet, it's a little bit more gamey, but it kind of tastes like a fillet. But I probably didn't like prepare it. I'm not like the best cook, but it was the weirdest thing to eat. So I'm like, I'm literally eating a cow heart. I was like, please bless this cow. Please bless this cow, you know. But we eat all the other parts, so people eat chicken hearts all the time. Yeah, and then also the liver, too. Yeah, but the heart was the weirdest. He eats cow balls.

SPEAKER_00 30:16

Oh yeah, I'm not really I can't get into that. No, I can't get behind putting any kind of balls in my mouth. It's just not really it's not my jam.

SPEAKER_02 30:24

So it's boost your testosterone by like 700 million percent.

SPEAKER_00 30:28

That's it. All right, well. I mean, that's I'll take somebody's word for it. Um I'll never know. My testosterone will stay right where it is.

SPEAKER_02 30:34

Right? I know. I'm like, I am not. Could you imagine me calling like a local farmer and be like, do you have any cow testicles?

SPEAKER_00 30:40

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02 30:42

Like I'm sure people do. I know people that do. I know a lot of like health health nuts.

SPEAKER_00 30:47

Oh yeah. There are a lot of people are complaining because the the testicle festival that was here in Bitonville. Oh. Yeah, there are the people were upset because they ran out of the of the I think they were using sheep testicles for the most part. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:01

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 31:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:02

Yeah. Well hard pass for me too.

SPEAKER_00 31:06

You know, I I think the strangest thing I've probably ever eaten is I ate uh crickets. Um crickets one time, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

Okay, that's like uh Polynesian, like they do that over in Bali, I think, right? It's like it's kind of like cockroaches, no, not cockroaches. Ew.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

Nope, nope, not gonna eat those. Crabs, like it's like a I've had escargot too as well. I have that.

SPEAKER_02 31:27

Yeah, I know. That's like not so weird now, right? Like ten years ago, it's like, oh my god, I had fish eggs. Oh no, that's smells.

SPEAKER_00 31:34

Oh, yeah, that's cargo spa moment. I've never had um what is that? Thank you, yeah. I've never had actual like the like expensive. I've had like the masago at the sushi places. But um, alright. If you had a time machine, would you visit the past or the future?

SPEAKER_02 31:49

Honestly, if I hadn't lost my dad and brother, I would probably say the future. But if I had a time machine, I would want to go back in the future. Or I mean want to go back in time, talk to my dad, talk to my brother. That's that's what I would do.

SPEAKER_00 32:03

So I can appreciate that.

SPEAKER_02 32:04

I would what about you?

SPEAKER_00 32:05

I would do the same. My my brother um was killed in a car accident when he was 13, I was six. So yeah, I would do that. I'd go back.

SPEAKER_02 32:13

Yeah, like like I like we can still talk to them in the spirit, right? But something about seeing their actual physical body, you know, would be so so amazing.

SPEAKER_00 32:24

It'd be yeah, it would it would change a lot of things for sure. If they were to make a movie about your life, who would play you? Who do you want to play you?

SPEAKER_02 32:32

That is so crazy. That is you're the second person that asked me that. Second or third, actually. Um, because I I do believe that that's in my um future. Um, I do want to uh direct or assistant direct um a movie kind of about my life, but who would play my life? Um, oh my goodness, I wish I had my phone because I do have a doppelganger, but it would have to be one of you know, we'd have to go through like when I was younger to now. Kate Hudson could probably do a really great job, like now. And Jennifer Lawrence.

SPEAKER_00 33:08

Oh yeah, I could see that.

SPEAKER_02 33:09

Yeah, Jennifer Lawrence. I really like her. I like what she stands for too.

SPEAKER_00 33:12

She's a very good actress, yeah. And she is, yeah, she's a smart, smart one for sure.

SPEAKER_02 33:15

Yeah, yeah, and she stood up for herself when they told us she needed to lose weight for uh what is it, Hunger Games?

SPEAKER_00 33:22

Oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:22

Yeah, there's a whole story behind that. Yeah, I I really, I really respect her. Yeah, she's a strong person. Yeah, we need Jennifer Lawrence.

SPEAKER_00 33:28

Oh, those are good choices.

SPEAKER_02 33:29

Yeah. In my younger days, I don't know. You have to have to do casting for that. That'd be fun though.

SPEAKER_00 33:36

I decided that um Jason Momoa would play me because we you know we were very similar appearance for a small building.

SPEAKER_02 33:42

Oh my I see it. I love it. Um, who's the girl? Who's Khelsey? Who's that? Who's her name? Um I freaking love Khaleesi. People call me Khelsey.

SPEAKER_00 33:51

I could, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:52

Because of my hair.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

Yeah, I could say, yeah, because of the the curls. I can't really actress as well.

SPEAKER_02 33:56

I love her. Yeah. You know, she had a brain aneurysm during that.

SPEAKER_00 33:59

And that crazy that whole story.

SPEAKER_02 34:01

Yeah, she's also another strong one.

SPEAKER_00 34:03

Yeah, it's so wild.

SPEAKER_02 34:04

Yeah, I mean, I guess like any of them could play because uh hair and makeup, you know, they can they can change it around, but she's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 34:09

Yeah, she's awesome too. We can they could probably get some like a personal trainer for Jason, you know, to get him fit like me and whatnot.

SPEAKER_02 34:18

You're like just bodysuit.

SPEAKER_00 34:19

Yeah, I'm just I'm so jacked and he's so small. So what uh what's your go-to karaoke song?

SPEAKER_02 34:26

Oh man. I don't even know if I have one anymore because it used to be like a bunch of like I don't know, Gloria Gainer stuff, but I don't know. Uh what on the spot if I had to Yeah, I was like used to like I used to do Spice Girls, Fergie, so you're doing some Gloria Estefan. Like easy, fun stuff, you know. You could what?

SPEAKER_00 34:49

So you're doing some Gloria Estefan.

SPEAKER_02 34:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:51

The condo.

SPEAKER_02 34:52

Oh god. Um, what about you?

SPEAKER_00 34:55

I don't karaoke, no one needs to be subjected to that.

SPEAKER_02 34:58

Right? Like, okay, have you seen what is that? It's like uh my best friend's wedding where Cameron Diaz gets up and she's like sings and she's like totally awful. I I feel like that with me a couple of times.

SPEAKER_00 35:08

I I I think I can I can carry a tune sometimes, but uh nah, no nobody needs to hand me a microphone, let me sing. It's bad enough you go listen to me talk, so no, you have a great voice.

SPEAKER_02 35:18

Oh well thank you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:19

Uh let's see, what is something new that you want to do this year? Something you've never done.

SPEAKER_02 35:22

Uh that would be a TED talk.

unknown 35:24

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

I've never done a TED talk.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

I don't know how that works. Do you have to apply for that? I know that works.

SPEAKER_02 35:28

Yeah, yeah, you do, you apply for it. Um I have like um a marketing company that has the strategy for it, but I'm a firm believer that I'm supposed to be to give a TED talk. I've had visions of it. I know it's going to happen. It's just a matter of when. And I know when it happens, I will be a hundred percent ready for it, and it could happen sooner than I expect, or it could happen later. But I just have a knowing about it.

SPEAKER_00 35:55

Okay. So when you become famous, don't forget the little people.

SPEAKER_02 35:59

Um never will.

SPEAKER_00 36:01

Um what is something that people seem to misunderstand about you?

SPEAKER_02 36:06

That I am I think that when people see me sometimes they think that I'm superficial. I think that they think, oh, she's so pretty, she's probably had everything handed to her. And they they don't know. Yeah, I happened in high school though, too. They had no idea what was fine at home, you know. It's I I don't I don't deserve to be judged that way. You know, I I deserve to be seen for who I am. And um a lot of the times I didn't go out, I I didn't go to concerts, I I introverted because I just felt like people didn't like me because I didn't even see myself as beautiful, right? I was like, yeah, I'm pretty, but like I didn't really compare myself to the people because comparison is the thief of joy. And I work with so many women, and even even when I was little, I just I never felt like um jealousy for the women. I'm I'm like, you know, you you keep I could do it backhand springing, like you can't, so like let me help you. I'll teach you, like, let me help you, I'll I'll spot you, you know. But um tree lading was rough.

SPEAKER_01 37:03

Tree ladies gotta be pretty rough.

SPEAKER_02 37:04

Yeah, it was it was rough. Um I just have such a kind heart and a big heart, and um I think over time too, I ended up learning how to put up boundaries in walls and protect myself. And sometimes when you put up boundaries, people think that you're a snob or think that you're rude, but you're really just protecting yourself. Um, there's a difference between um being rude and having boundaries, and the people that don't respect your boundaries are the people that call you rude. So I would I would say I would say that, but I'm not so much worried about that. I'm not so much worried about being put in a box anymore, being seen that way because of the the newer ways that I'm learning, currently learning to carry myself and to I'm taking speaking classes to really like speak my soul, right? And and and connect. Um instead of being just so on the surface. I think for a long time I was so afraid, and almost brings tears to my eyes, so afraid actually be real because yeah, like or be deep with people, like on a on a bigger scale, like on social media, when I get out there and I talk and I've got you know 11,000 followers, like like putting myself out there like that, it takes bravery and it takes courage because somebody's always gonna say something about you. And once I decided to let the opinions of others like not define me, then it I it created freedom. But god, that that was really scary for me.

SPEAKER_00 38:26

Yeah, vulnerability is never easy, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:29

Yeah, but inner vulnerability is when we're the most beautiful, and that's when we can actually connect. If everybody just walks around with walls up, then there's real strength there in the in the vulnerability. Yeah, I mean, I feel like that's like that's the key. It's like tell the girl you love her, tell them like stop playing cat and mouth. Like, alright, and if she doesn't, then you handle it, you know, or whatever it is. Ask for that race, ask for that, like go for it. Yeah, that's my message.

SPEAKER_00 38:53

Go for it. Answer's no until you ask, right?

SPEAKER_02 38:55

Yeah, and even if you get a no, ask again. Don't give up. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 38:59

Something that you said about boundaries. A friend of mine a while back posted something on his Facebook, which was just beautiful. He said, I don't know what to tell you about my boundaries. Fuck off, I guess. It's like it's great. I mean, it's it's probably a little harsher than we need to be, but I mean the point is there, is like, you know, like you said, you know, you put up a boundary and somebody goes, Oh, you're a jerk or you're a bitch or whatever it is that people like to say. And the reality is, no, I'm not. I just don't want to be treated that way.

SPEAKER_02 39:25

And that's a part of the process of letting those people go. And you think you're gonna be alone because you're like, oh my god, am I I mean my circle is small.

SPEAKER_00 39:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:33

My circle is very, very small.

SPEAKER_00 39:35

Mine's getting smaller.

SPEAKER_02 39:36

Yeah. Once I understood the fullness of protecting my energy and not letting toxic relationships or toxic people or um even toxic clients like drain me. Like I understood it, but like now I really understand the fullness of it. Like, I can't. It's not an option for me anymore.

SPEAKER_00 39:53

Oh no, and it shouldn't be. It should never be an option.

SPEAKER_02 39:55

I don't care how hot you are. The guys out there. Hello. Talking to you. I'm more I'm more concerned about character and all these other things, and if you're in alignment or in aligned action, you know.

SPEAKER_00 40:09

It looks fake, you know. At some point we're all gonna everything's gonna be on the floor. So it's like, you know.

SPEAKER_02 40:15

Oh no, I'm doing all the things.

SPEAKER_00 40:18

Well, when I'm in my 60s, I might get a breast lift as well. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 40:23

Oh my gosh. Oh, I'm doing all the anti-aging regimens. I will f I will keep my appointments on that. Oh goodness.

SPEAKER_00 40:29

I'm just I'm just taking it with with there's nothing I can do about it. The gray is are coming in.

SPEAKER_02 40:34

And and men men age, I feel like men age well.

SPEAKER_00 40:37

Yeah, guys, we can sport the gray and it's okay, right? Yeah, exactly. We're seasoned or something like that.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

Yeah, women in here they're like, we have like a quarter inch of gray, they're like, All right now.

SPEAKER_00 40:46

She's old.

SPEAKER_02 40:47

I know, I know, it's sad. But some people embrace it and it's beautiful, but you know, it's honestly about doing what makes you feel good, what makes you feel beautiful, what makes you feel elevated. And if that's coming in and getting a grace covered every three weeks, then do it because that's self-love for you, right? Not because of any societal standard, because that's how you feel good. That's what makes you feel the best.

SPEAKER_00 41:07

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I support, do whatever you gotta do. Yeah, it's whatever you need to do, make yourself feel better.

SPEAKER_02 41:12

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 41:13

So, do you feel like there are any questions I should have asked you that I didn't?

SPEAKER_02 41:16

Not really.

SPEAKER_00 41:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 41:17

No, I mean, this we I think we covered a lot of material. Hold on, is there a question I should have asked you? Let me think. Okay, I got one for you. What in 23 are you committed to no matter what?

SPEAKER_00 41:30

Ooh. Um, that's a good question. I don't want to say self-growth, because I've been committed to that forever. Um what is something I'm really committed to? I wanna I am committed to my health for sure. My my health and fitness. I mean, I've got to I've I'm realizing as I get older, there's so many things that I can't do. Absolutely. Um so like I I did CrossFit for a while and I've injured myself, so now I have to have surgery to correct that. And so when I come back from that, I have to really embrace it.

SPEAKER_02 41:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:58

Yeah. So I'm committed to to eating cleaner. Um and I think all in all I want to eat cleaner, I want to be healthy, and I really am it it's important to me to reduce my footprint. I I don't I don't want to take up and just consume. I want to I want to do more that it gives back.

SPEAKER_02 42:15

Yeah. So absolutely, and part of that's through uh your podcast. Like I think that's your biggest why. And as an intuitive coach, I would say to take action. I think like, you know, not being able to find a person to help you or like all those things, but like imagine what it would feel like to have all those things in place, tap into that energy, and then you're gonna attract that. I think it's gonna be beautiful, and I can't wait to watch you grow into that, and I can't wait to do our next one and mark my words because I see it for you. I think as long as you take that action, I think it's gonna really happen because you're you're you're fun to work with and you're natural at it. So well, thank you. Yeah, I like that. Appreciate that.

SPEAKER_00 42:55

Anything you want to plug, businesses, websites?

SPEAKER_02 42:57

Um, so we got just in time to save a life, Instagram. Uh stay tuned for that. We're gonna be doing some cold plunge challenges. Okay. Yeah, it's gonna be really cool. Um locally here in the Bentonville or Rogers area. Um, check out the Queen's Retreat and Photo Shoot. We're gonna be having a two-day workshop in Orange County for the um for like executive women that really want to step into their power. The Hair Lab by Jessica G. Bentonville. We are looking for high-level executives that struggle with hair and makeup. We want to help you. Um, we want to make you feel elevated. Uh, one less thing that you have to think about when you're stepping into that meeting or trying to get that raise or doing that presentation. Um, so many CEOs and executives and vice presidents and doctors and lawyers come to me and they come here and they put their confidence and their trust in me. And that's kind of the a lot of the clientele that we serve, as well as amazing stay-at-home moms, um, because that is a huge job. I don't know how, I don't know how moms do it and work too. Like it's I have so much respect for women. I just I really do. Um, what else? I think that's it.

SPEAKER_00 44:04

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 44:04

Yeah, I think I've did I plug everything in. What is your what is your plug?

SPEAKER_00 44:09

Uh well, I mean, obviously there's my podcast. I um What's the name of your podcast again? Points of failure.

SPEAKER_02 44:14

Points of failure. That's right, I like that.

SPEAKER_00 44:16

And then uh I'm working this year to rebrand and get a website out, and then probably I will I'm looking at hosting platforms and trying to determine which ones are are the best for you know uh monetization, capitalizing, and all that.

SPEAKER_02 44:29

So do you have Instagram for Points of Failure?

SPEAKER_00 44:31

Yep, yep. It is um, let's see. I believe on Instagram it is called failure points pod, and that's the same on Twitter. Yeah, um, and then it's points of failure on Facebook and LinkedIn, and then uh the website is anchor.fm and then slash points of failure.

SPEAKER_02 44:48

Okay, got it.

SPEAKER_00 44:49

Yeah, they're all out there.

SPEAKER_02 44:50

So there you go.

SPEAKER_00 44:51

Yeah, awesome.

SPEAKER_02 44:52

Well follow, follow, follow.

SPEAKER_00 44:54

Indeed, and I can highly recommend the hair lab as well, being a customer myself.

SPEAKER_02 44:58

So thank you so much. This is so much fun.

SPEAKER_00 45:05

I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, I'd love for you to share it with anyone you think might also enjoy it. And if you like the show, please consider supporting it. If you'd like to help, there's a link in the show. I'd like to thank all of our guys who take a conversation. If you want to find the show, you can make it a little bit more.